I have shed so many tears this past month that I am honestly feeling drained. I know that being an entrepreneur is not the easiest job in the world – but I had no idea that the month of March would have been so emotional.
When you grow your business, it’s common to face ‘new devils’ on the way up the ladder. I use the term ‘new devils’ to mean new challenges. For me, it became personal this month when I was involved in a project on International Women’s Day in Johannesburg followed by a workshop I delivered for entrepreneurs. The level of interest, enthusiasm, and participation – coupled with the appetite for learning – was beyond what I have ever experienced. I offered a scholarship for a coaching program with me and was quite excited at the prospect of working with one of these women over the course of the year.
I did not expect the application process to be so daunting in that EVERY SINGLE ONE of those applicants deserved the scholarship – based on the effort put into the application.
Tears.
More Tears.
Challenges.
Resolution – choose 2 candidates instead of 1 – and, that way they will have an accountability partner in the process. All is well. Tears (of joy) happening now.
These emotional challenges happen in life, too – all the time.
I faced it again when my (step)daughter, Kristy, was heading to Myrtle Beach to attend her first business mastermind meeting. A little background information here – Kristy is/has been a Pharmacist for over 20 years now. She has always had an interest in health and wellness in the holistic sense of the word. For many years, she has also represented a certain brand of health supplements. This past year, she decided that she wanted to step out into the world of business and step into her power as a Health & Wellness Coach.
As a business coach, Kristy would call me and we would have a few conversations about being an entrepreneur and whether or not it is something she should do. In the course of conversation, she acknowledged that she would need a business coach and I agreed and offered a recommendation to her – because it would not be in our best interest for that coach to be me.
Flash forward, and Kristy has been in the coaching program for a number of months now – and it’s time to head to her first mastermind meeting. I had the opportunity to attend – and we agreed that I would so she could have some support in this new experience.
What happened there was beyond my wildest dreams……..(as a step-mother, as a coach, as a human being). Kristy and I discussed arriving in Myrtle Beach a day early so we could spend some time together – some 1-1 time- which has never happened in our adult years. I was thrilled and more than happy to do this. Then she asked if I wanted to share a hotel room at the resort we would be staying at – I NEVER share a hotel room at these meetings – but I said YES.
The lessons that came from this time together are what I wanted to share with you – because being in business is not just about the technical, logical, financial and geographical aspects.
LESSON #1 – BE AVAILABLE. After having just returned from my trip to Africa, I really had no desire to hop on another plane and head to the USA for more meetings. But for Kristy to express an interest in having me there – after all these years as her step-mother and having left the marriage to her father – was an incredible “ASK” and I absolutely wanted to be available. I knew I could and I knew I would – I wanted to. Bring on the plane!
LESSON #2 – BE OPEN. There are times in life and in business when we need to be vulnerable and be open. Being vulnerable is the commitment I made to my own business coach this year in efforts to double my business. Being open as a support to my step-daughter was an honor and a challenge. We’ve always had a good relationship but it hasn’t always been a close relationship. I recognized this as a huge opportunity and not one I was going to miss! I was not disappointed.
LESSON #3 – LISTEN. I know that I know more about business building than Kristy does. I also know the importance of listening. I did that a lot in our time together. The most precious opportunity came in the evenings when we were tucked into our own beds, ready for sleep – and yet having the most wonderful conversations. I listened, a lot. I learned, a lot. I am loved is what I learned.
LESSON #4: IT’S NEVER TOO LATE. I have been Kristy’s step-mother for 35 years. That’s a long time. I planted a lot of seeds during those years to create the kind of mother-daughter relationship I always dreamed of. If you have heard my story (and read my new book), ‘compromise’ was my middle name – I was good at it – settling for less and selling out on my own dreams, one of which was to have my own children. It IS never too late – the bond that we have was strengthened and validated. I am grateful.
Yes, there is an emotional side to doing business. It may not show up in the way that my story unfolded above. But it will show up. One of the keys to success is to make smart business decisions and not emotional ones. The lessons I learned and shared with you are smart in both business and in life.
These are lessons I will continue to implement in all aspects of my life.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Please share your thoughts!
And here I thought I got the most out of those few days… I was so grateful that you came last week when I knew you were so exhausted from all of your travels. Then when I found out you don’t share a room… I really enjoyed spending that time with you and all of the help you’ve been giving me. It’s so nice to have someone in the family who “gets it” about how difficult this journey is. I am so blessed 🙂
I have just returned from Swaziland ( a five hour journey from Johannesburg) where a l attended the 30th birthday celebration of a basket weaving group that I have worked with for a many years. This group has grown unbelievably in this time and had a huge challenge 3 years ago when the founder died unexpectedly and there was no real succession plan and the business too a real dip…….However the women stepped up and have worked extremely hard to keep going.
The tips above so resonate with my experience….
1 Be available – the invitation came 3 days before the event and I had a full diary but a 30th is a once off and I have a special relationship with these women – so I created the space to do so.
2 BE OPEN – I went with an open mind and no expectations. The function had started when I entered the room and when I came in there was a big reaction from the women which was incredibly humbling and the delight on their faces was inspiring to say the least. These women are the teachers who work with big groups of women, teaching them to weave and taking care of production. Many are not literate but they are extremely wise. What was amazing was to see the growth in the women in the years when they had to step up and take the lead – they are strong and committed and are still using phrases that I taught them when I did training with them. I was told that I was expected to speak – five minutes before I was required to……. I did and the feedback was good and I realised that it was possible to do a good impromptu speech.
3 LISTEN – After the formal events I chatted to many of the women who told me how much I had inspired them and how they draw on my teaching when they need strength. They told me that I was like a Mother to them and that I gave them courage when they needed it and that they were extremely happy that I had made the time to be present at the celebration. They told me that they missed me……. As I made the decision to move myself operationally out of my business on a daily basis and to study to become a coach as this is a passion this was an affirmation to me that this decision was right for now.
4 IT IS NEVER TOO LATE – I have been told that to consider starting a new business at my age is madness – but my visit affirmed to me, that it was the right decision. It also reminded me that without good time management time runs away and that it had been almost 2 years since I visited them. I now know the value of my visits and will be diarising an annual visit. I am also considering spending time with them to build my coaching hours for accreditation as it will build them and allow me to develop methods to coach remote, rural, traditional women.
New horizons and loads of gratitude………..
#Inspired and #Learned
I’ve uncovered my passion in Social Entrepreneurship about 4 months ago when i gave birth to the idea of starting my own non-profit organization.My burning desire for starting an NPO was triggered by the who Kgadi is; #ChangeDriver #CommunityShaper #Leader , above all the fact that i find great pleasure in helping people #servantLeader! I’ve started my NPO aimed at empowering women and youth.
From December 2014 until March 31st I shed tears and had sleepless nights!The desire in me was burning me and I didn’t know who to turn to(I’m from a very deep rural village and my NPO is aimed at developeing)-I did my homework (documented the whole idea(it was hard for me to put what i had in me on paper), surf internet,read books on entrepreneurship etc). I decided its time i shared my vision-I got 4 people on board,they were passionate(at least i thought) two weeks down the line they’re all quiet.I just though maybe its because I’m the one with the vision that’s why they’re not active-‘but if they don’t share my vision at least they should understand it’ I thought.I decided to put them on ‘hold’ and moved forward.I called out volunteer applications (aim was to show my inactive team that we need action-mind you we haven’t registered the NPO,haven’t meet to discuss my business profile-i want to but ‘they’re busy’)…the applications came in- i reviewed them on the 31st of March 2015 and conducted interviews via WHATSAPP- I was impressed with their motivation(in the letter of application) I managed to get 5 potential people and now i’ve set an appointment with them for a physical meeting(See Beyond the Clouds Foundation-SBCF FIRST meeting).I’m happy that atlast I’m going to kickstart my NPO and launch it in June 2015!
From the day i gave birth to the NPO idea until today- I went through mixed emotions moments.
And i’m happy to have met Pat Mussieux at the Mentorship Musings with The Passionate Professional because i learned a lot!(personal and professional development) and also the fact that I have a mentor, I trust myself to pull my NPO off the ground and make a change using it! I’m a young vibrant lady and yes Pat i second you when coming to emotional side of business-there’s that side! and I’ll equip myself to stay strong and focus!
Thank you