3 Tips for Handling Frustration!

Hey everybody, it’s Pat here. Those of you in my inner circle know that I’ve been experiencing a few frustrations in the last two weeks. Now listen, not anything life or death. That’s why I’m not calling it stress. I’m calling it frustration because we all have frustrations, and for those of you who know me from my past life, handling frustration always led me to emotional eating. That was always my go to, and I’ve learned and developed some different habits that really have been a lifesaver. Literally, a lifesaver for me, and so in these past two weeks of major technological challenges, I have been very aware of my reaction to them, and I’ve also been very aware of people around me who are going through some frustration and stress, and other life-type scenarios.

I have friends who are moving. That’s stressful. I have friends who are moving elderly parents. That’s stressful. For me, it was like Mercury in Retrograde just came right on down and settled right in here and got comfortable. My iPhone died, the charging cord on my laptop was not working, so my laptop was not charging and then the battery was dying. I can just round them all out. My printer is not working, my blender died last night, and my desk lamp blew. It just goes on and on, but the major frustration is not having a workable laptop and iPhone, because that’s my business. So that’s pretty serious and that level of frustration was very high.

As I watch people around me, and I’m always aware of human behavior, I also look in the mirror and tend to see how am I handling this and what lessons have I learned that I can pass on? Because I’ve become pretty good at this.

Here are my tips for handling frustration, particularly as we head into the month of December. That alone increases the stress level because of expectations that are real and unreal, but also frustration comes with that. With my technology frustrations, in lieu of heading towards emotional eating, which used to be a temporary solution, a temporary fix, but in the long haul did not serve me well, here are some of my best tips.

Number one is to become very aware of your feelings. Whether it’s frustration, stress or disappointment, you can identify it, but become aware of your feelings and identify the stressors. Be very specific about it, but then the second part of this, which is so important, is to also identify is that stressor within your control or not in your control? And I physically sit down, I write out a list, and I draw a line down the page. Is this within my control or out of my control?

All those items out of my control, for example, I ordered a new laptop off Amazon with the help of Cheryl, my beloved team member Cheryl. We got together and got a laptop ordered off Amazon. Now, the good news, because there’s always good news, we beat the Black Friday rush, so that was great for me. We ordered it on Monday and it came in on Wednesday. That was amazing. I was so grateful to Amazon. So there’s a plus out of a bad situation.

Then I ran it over to Superior Computers here in town and begged, seriously begged to get it back as soon as possible, and of course, the other people in line were having the same begging request.

Here’s the thing. They were so swamped that they could not promise me immediate turnaround, of course, and so here was the deal. Leaving my laptop there, the old and the new, then became out of my control, and because I still have phone issues, old phone, new phone, and neither of which are working for email, I recognized very quickly that these matters were out of my control for now, so I needed to let it go. I literally was walking around singing that song, let it go, let it go. As the frustration rose, it was more like praying let go and let God.

So make your list of what’s in your control, what’s not in your control, and those items out of your control, let it go. There’s nothing you can do. Let it go.

Now, those items within your control, sit down and create an action plan, and that’s exactly what I did. That’s really the third item. The first one is become aware of your feelings, and make a list of in control and out of control. The second item is if it’s beyond your control, let it go. And then the third tip is if it is within your control, develop an action plan and some success strategies to deal with it.

As I said, in the past for dealing with it, I would eat, but now, the way I live my lifestyle is not conducive to junk food eating. There’s nothing in my house that fits that category and the level of frustration was not so high that I was going to go down the elevator, get in my car, and go drive for some kind of crappy junk food just to feel the emotion in the time.

Here’s what I did do instead. I looked at my list. You know that list we always have? For me, it’s kept on the fridge. There’s always that to-do list. I looked at that list and I just decided that although I’m a very disciplined entrepreneur and my days are typically very scheduled, and this was so out of the ordinary that I could not follow through on my work plan, my work schedule, that even meant for me physically changing my clothes and to get into a different wardrobe, look at the list, and deal with the list because at a minimum, I knew I would be making progress. I would be doing something constructive and I would feel quite satisfied at the end of it.

Part of my list and part of my strategy is to exercise. I’m blessed to live in an apartment building that has a full exercise room downstairs, complete full-size swimming pool and sauna, so I decided exercise was going to be my go to, and at the same time, I was listening to some podcasts where I had fallen behind. See? There’s another upside. I was learning as I was walking. That’s the upside.

The other part of the list is as I pulled out my exercise wardrobe to get into, those shelves were not in the best of order, I’ll admit. So I made a conscious decision that I’ll go exercise and when I come back and change, I am going to pull everything off the shelf and I am going to refold everything, sort it, categorize it by color, and make that closet look pretty attractive every time I open the door and reach in. So I did. I exercised, which was a benefit. I had a lot of energy and I had time, so I exercised twice a day, I felt good, and I got my exercise wardrobe all sorted out and cleaned out. That felt good.

The other thing that I did was that I had on my list to sort out my jewelry drawer. This has been on the list for a while. I sat down, pulled the drawer out, put it on the bed, sat down, and went through it. What items do I love and will I keep, and what items just have to go because I haven’t touched them or worn them in well over a year? So I put that together in a box, put that into the Good Will box to go, and put the rest back where it belonged. Check another item off my list.

I was just looking at my list to see exactly what I had done, but seriously, there’s always an upside to everything. The end result is that I let it go and I let it be, and I ended up actually having time off, like my colleagues in the States over Thanksgiving, and I just learned to breathe and be in the moment, and make good use of my time and my energy. That, in the end, was rewarding.

I’m talking to you from my new laptop, which still has some issues, but for the most part I’m functional. These are some tips that can really carry you well through the month of December. Again, be thinking about what’s in your control and what’s not. Learn to let it go. Go to your list. Go to your friends. I also spent time with friends. We went to a coffee shop, sat had coffee and talked, and it was eyeball to eyeball. I was totally present.

So a few tips that have worked for me and they may work for you too. Get that frustration and get that stress under control, learn to breathe and be in the moment, and know, again, it’s not all life or death. You have the power to take charge of the moment, so do it. That’s the best I’ve got for today. Take some of these and apply them. Let me know what works for you, okay? Bye, everyone.