Handling Change - 3 Survival Tips! - #PM31
Hi everyone and welcome. It’s Pat Mussieux here. I’m coming to you today with a really important message, and I want to share with you three critical tips for survival. That’s what I call them. I wanted to do this today because, as many of you know, over the past few days I’ve been preparing for and actually moving to a new home. Now, I have to tell you, that’s hard work. Moving is hard work.
I wanted to do this Facebook Live to talk about handling change – three survival tips – because it’s September. I know I’m not alone—when you turn the calendar, there’s this level of excitement that grows within you and spills over, for many of you, with the month of September.
So I want to talk to you about handling change because September kind of represents a season of change. Know that I’m talking about change that is within your control. I’m not talking about things beyond our control like the situation in Houston and, actually, over the last month and last few weeks when there have been some pretty challenging situations happening, both work-wise and personally.
My mantra every day was, “I don’t live in Houston.” I don’t live in Houston, so this too shall pass and, in the scheme of things, this is all pretty minor. However, again, let me go back to the fact that it’s September, it is a time of change, and the majority of this change in our lives is within our control, but I’ve also seen and heard all around me people who are struggling right now with that change, and one person in particular is my brother. His eldest has gone off to university, and one thing I’ve loved about my brother and his family has been their evening ritual of the family dinner. No matter what, the five of them sit around the table, no technology, no phones, eyes on each other, heart-to-heart, and they have great conversations. I’ve always loved being part of that, and now, as my brother said last week, that is over on a daily basis because Ben has now gone to university.
That’s one change, and I know there are many of you who are sending little ones off to kindergarten, some of them going off to senior high, some going off to university, a lot of change for a lot of people. And in my circle, there are many people going through change of downsizing, and that’s actually what I have been doing.
I wanted to give you my three survival tips because I’m pretty darn good at this and I know it. I’m not good at everything. Some of you have other gifts that I don’t have, but when it comes to dealing with change, and I hear people often say, “Oh, change is so hard.” No it’s not hard. It’s hard when you tell yourself it’s hard, but in reality and in actuality, when you, within your control, plan for the change, it’s not hard. It’s a matter of shifting your thinking and shifting your mindset to the fact that change is exciting.
Change needs to happen. The seasons change. I see people harvesting their gardens. It’s coming to the end of the season, and so the same thing happens in our lives.
As I mentioned, my brother is in a different season of his life with his family. For me and many of my friends, we are in a different season in our life, so I wanted to talk to you about my change, my downsizing, and the three tips that have really worked well for me. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am totally exhausted today. My body aches in parts I never knew I had, and do you know what? It has been over 10-11 years since I’ve moved. Moving is hard work. It’s hard work. That’s physical. I’m going to give you a tip around that too, but I do want to talk about the mental part of it.
Change is not hard. Change can be hard when you don’t have my three tips. Get your pen ready.
- Plan and Prepare For It
The first one is to plan and prepare for it. I knew about a year ago that it was time for me to change my living situation. I had a lovely house. I loved the house. In fact, I call it my “healing house” because when I moved here and divorced, and started a whole new life—many of you know the story. If you don’t, go to http://hirepat.com on my website and read my story. Many of you know my story, and so that house was my healing house. Things have changed. I’ve changed, I’ve evolved, I’ve grown, and my life circumstances and work circumstances have changed too.
A year ago, I started to plan and prepare for the change. That all started with the vision of what I wanted. Again, if you’re one of my followers, you know that one thing that brings me great joy is the sunset in the evening. I love that. In fact, the theme in this new place where I’m living, along with a friend of mine who is in the picture framing business, we’re going to take all of my favorite and best sunset photos and we’re going to get them framed, and I’m going to have a whole wall featuring sunsets of the world, from Uruguay to the dinner cruise on the Zambezi River in Africa, to Ipperwash Beach where I technically should be right now. I’ve taken some great pictures, so we’re going to create that theme here. I have a vision.
I knew that I wanted to move now to a situation and an environment where I would be up high and I would have a southwest view, and I would have sunsets every night. That’s part of this decade for me. I just turned 66. I want this to be the best decade for me, and that needs – and should include – sunsets every night.
Part of the vision for the move was to simplify my life, make things easier because I still intend to travel a lot and I wanted turnkey, and I wanted the vision for what the days and the evenings would feel like. I wanted the southwest view, I wanted to be up high, I wanted bright, cheery, spacious, and actually, I just closed the blind because it’s very bright in here. My face was glowing and I didn’t want to scare you off.
Have a vision. Start the vision now for what you want and know that, with change, you’ve got to plan it out. For me, it took a year. I went around the city in certain areas. I knew exactly where I wanted to be, and so I found the place and I kept coming back and checking in. I put my name on the list. There was a waiting list for a year. I had the vision, I created the plan, and I did it a year out.
I’m also a person of few things, actually. I’m not a hoarder. I grew up in a military family. You just don’t gather stuff. I will tell you that I started purging last January. I spent an hour each weekend day purging, and what I’ve learned is oh my gosh, paper is like rabbits. It just keeps multiplying.
So I don’t have a lot of stuff. I don’t have a spouse, I don’t have kids, and I don’t have pets. Many of you do. For those of you planning that kind of change in your life, start a year ahead, get the vision, share the vision, get excited about the vision, and then start the process, particularly around purging and downsizing. We just don’t need all that stuff that most of us have. That’s the first part of it; plan and prepare.
The planning and preparation is just not physical. It’s emotional as well. Many people were asking me if I was going to miss my adorable little house in Wortley Village. Yes, I’m missing the memories but, quite honestly, I was at an event in August, in Vegas. In between business events, I went to the Global Leadership Summit that’s hosted by my church and many churches around the world. One of the speakers, and I believe it was Andy Stanley, who said, “For many of us in the world of work these days, we have become so focused on the duty that we have forgotten the joy.”
That hit me right between the eyes because I was thinking about my pending move, and that’s really what the house had become for me. It had become a duty. The fence needed to be replaced, the kitchen needed to be upgraded and renovated, and I could go on and on. It started to feel like a duty for me. It was feeling overwhelming. The trees needed pruning. It just goes on and on. I just didn’t want that responsibility anymore.
When it goes from joy to duty, that’s a key trigger for you. That’s a red flag that it’s time for change, so get yourself ready emotionally and to the point where, when I actually moved yesterday, I stood out on the balcony and looked out at that sunset, and looked over at my former house. It was with no regrets. No regrets. I had prepared myself emotionally, physically and financially in so many ways. Do that as well. Plan and prepare well in advance.
- Get Help
Then the second piece is to get help, especially with something like a move. Also, if it’s a family change of some kind, get help. I had friends offer to help me move, but seriously, I outsource and delegate. There are people in that business, and that’s not me, so I got references and referrals from my realtor, Marg Petznick, and got the best people in the world. These people here in London, Ontario, the http://theeasymove.ca, check them out. Absolutely amazing and I highly recommend them.
Outsource and delegate. You don’t need to do it all yourself and, honestly, you can’t do it all yourself. I’m talking about a physical move, but for a shift in the family dynamics as well, perhaps you need emotional support. Check in with your friends. Become vulnerable and open up about your feelings, your emotions, and how the shift is affecting you. It’s so critically important to let people know and to get it out so it doesn’t fester. That was another point I wanted to share with you.
- Acknowledge the Change
The third piece is to acknowledge the change. I will say that, as I walked through the house, there were tears shed because that was my healing house and there were a lot of great memories there; patio parties, Mexican Train evenings, and a lot of good memories. Acknowledge the shift. I’ve had moments that have been very high and full of joy, and I’ve had moments where I felt very alone. It gets overwhelming.
That leads me to the third tip I wanted to share with you. You have to prepare yourself. Many of you know that my focus over the last 12-24 months has been health, wealth and happiness. Had I not been preparing myself for a happy decade, a happy home, and preparing myself financially to make this shift, but also physically, and as I keep saying, moving is hard work, but any change can have an effect on the body. Seriously, I was so happy that I’m in such good physical shape that I could easily, physically handle this move, so that was one piece.
Acknowledge that in that instance, yes, change can be hard. In that instance, physically, it can be demanding. In that instance or in some of the situations you’re going through, emotionally it can be challenging. Acknowledge it. Just acknowledge it.
Last night was my first night here and many people were commenting today and sending me messages, “Oh, I bet you enjoyed your first night in your new place.” Seriously people, I hurt in places I never knew I had. Every bone in my body ached. I had a new mattress, new pillow, new sounds, didn’t know about the temperature control. It was a big shift, so no, I didn’t sleep worth beans last night, but I intend to tonight.
Those are my three survival tips. Now I want to give you a bonus one because all of this, today, tomorrow, and in the future for all of us, any change that we’re going through by choice has a lot of requirements, and I will say to you as I’ve said to my friends, had I not prepared emotionally, but more importantly physically, then I would not be in the happy state that I am today and feeling really good.
Here’s what I did. Hydration is key. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate, and get in the habit of doing that.
Secondly, my bonus tip, some of you have moved. Maybe you’re in the process now. It’s really easy to fall into a trap of going through the drive-thus and grabbing crap food, junk food. Not good for you. My saving grace has been my protein shakes and my protein bars, and they’re chocolate, which makes me very happy.
Of course, I imbibed in other types of chocolate. I have good friends who know I live 80/20, and 80% of the time the shakes, the bars and the water really supported me well in the whole process. Honestly, in some of the emotional moments when the chocolates showed up – thank you Melissa – that was a happy time. When Wanda came yesterday with the latte out of the blue, that was a happy time. It’s 80/20 people. That’s a survival tip too, 80/20. So there you go.
I wanted to let you know I have survived the move, I am feeling a little weary, so I did not dive right back into everything today. Allow yourself that as well. Be kind to yourself. Most of the rest of the week for me is self-care. I’m going to go for a massage. I’m going to go for a pedicure. I’m going for acupuncture. I want to be in prime shape, so I need to recharge, refill, and get back in the game.
If you want to learn more about my mindset tips for personal and for business, because this is where I master, and marketing for your business, and making money so that you can afford a change of any kind, be sure to check out my upcoming event in Toronto. http://mindsetmarketingandmoney.com. September 27th and 28th in Toronto. Be sure to check it out. We’d love to have you come and spend a day-and-a-half just with me. I’m going to give you my best stuff, personally, professionally and organizationally.
Thanks for being here with me. Take those tips, make them work for you, embrace change. It’s good. Life is good. Bye for now from happy Pat. Talk to you soon.