Feeling overwhelmed and over-committed? - #PM36
Hi everyone, I’m back with a few tips on a topic that I believe will resonate with many of you today. This topic came up as a result of conversations that I had over the past few days with people or conversations that I honestly eavesdropped on over the past few days. It appears to be a very common topic of conversation and it certainly appears to be one that brings up and instills a lot of emotion in people, so I wanted to address it today because we’re heading into the holiday season and I know this is a point in time when many people, their thoughts are already heading towards American Thanksgiving and Christmas. You see the ads all over the place. Halloween is at the end of the month. There just seem to be a lot of things coming up on the calendar, and for those of you who have kids in school, I’m sure your calendars are jam packed full.
I was listening to some people talking on the weekend about the fact that (a) they have to learn how to say no, and (b) because they’ve said yes to so many things, that they feel like their life is on automatic and their life is full of “have-tos” and there’s not a lot of joy with that. They joy is gone and the feeling of duty has taken over, and so if you too are feeling overwhelmed, you’re feeling over-committed, I wanted to share some of my success habits with you.
I will say, right up front, that a lot of these have come as a result of this book here, The Power of Focus by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. I have owned this book for years. I read it faithfully twice a year. It’s in a bit of a workbook format too. It’s not really just a matter of reading or intellectually knowing any of this content. It’s a matter of personally applying it.
It breaks my heart when I hear people saying, “No, I can’t join my friends on this because I went ahead and said yes to that when, in fact, my heart wasn’t in it.” It really comes down to core values and being honest and true to yourself also. I see people over-committed when it comes to friends and when it comes to family. For sure, add a little guilt onto that, and so much more. That affects us personally to the extent of our health, our mental well-being, our physical well-being, and just generally, how we’re feeling about the day-to-day journey of life.
This also flows over and impacts us in our work field, our professional lives, so I want to speak to that as well because, again, in speaking to many entrepreneurs and business owners, I’m hearing them again say they wish they had not said yes to this because they wanted to have said yes to the other, but they were already over-committed. I want to speak to that.
When it comes to our professional life, when it comes to saying yes to this conference, yes to that free webinar, yes to that telesummit, yes I’ll read the book that Pat just recommended, yes I’ll click on that email, just clicking on an email is, in fact, saying yes to something else on your calendar, in your time zone, in your energy. Think about the subscriptions that you have, whether they’re hard copy magazines or subscriptions coming into your inbox. All of this combined can certainly put us in a state of overwhelm, and then all of the yeses that are going out of your lips but aren’t truly being felt in your heart are causing the state of overwhelm and over-commitment.
The thing is everybody suffers. Yes, I made notes because I could go on this topic for well over an hour, but I’m not going to. I want you to stay with me for a bit here. It affects every part of our life. It absolutely does. As you keep saying yes and get into over-commitment, so much suffers from it.
Post comments if you’re feeling this in any way, shape or form, and feel free to hit share because I know there are a lot of people who could benefit from this.
Here are my tips. I want you to focus on three things. Any of my coaching clients know that I focus on three things. That’s it. I focus on three projects a day. I focus on three things in my life, period. My calendar is always visible right there on my wall, my big wall calendar. I focus on three things. You have to focus on your personal life first. If you’re not taking care of you first, there’s no way you’re going to stay out of overwhelm, there’s no way you’re going to be able to think through that level of commitment versus over-commitment. So think about yourself first and what are you going to put as a priority?
Personally, for me, it always comes down to health first. As entrepreneurs and small business owners, when we’re not taking care of our health – mental, emotional, physical, spiritual – there’s no way we can take care of anything else. How do I handle that in the term of three things? I’m already looking ahead to the month of November. I have some travel coming up, I have some conferences I’m speaking at, I’m going to be driving, and so I think in terms of personal health, three things. You can’t focus on everything at once. It’s not going to happen.
Where and when you make a decision to improve your health for the month of November, for those of you in the States, you know Thanksgiving is coming up. Plan ahead.
What I do is I pick three areas that I focus on. For me, it’s going to be exercise. I love to exercise. The weather is changing, so what’s that going to look like for me? And yet my commitment will hold firm, and I’ll tell you why, because it goes in my calendar and it’s non-negotiable. I have yoga twice a week, I have a fitness center downstairs now that I use, I’m outside walking a minimum of twice a week, and it goes in my calendar. It’s non-negotiable. Me first. That’s the first piece of it, and I focus on three things.
Menu planning is another one that I’m working on because I get bored and I want to try new recipes, and so I look for healthy type recipes and incorporate them into my life. It makes me happy. So think about it in those terms. Personally, what are three things that you can focus on? Then say no to everything else.
I had a lot of invitations yesterday to go, do, be, join people. I just wanted to be at home and read a book, so I said no and I said yes to me, and that’s a lesson many of you need to learn. That’s the personal side of it.
The professional side of it, with all of the emails and all of the subscriptions, I encourage you to stop the subscriptions. The information is out there on the internet. It will always be out there on the internet. Pick three things. Pick one webinar for November that you will attend, learn and implement, and then that will be progress and you will feel better. Pick one seminar, pick one conference, pick one book you’re going to read. Stop with the overwhelm. Just focus on three things, personally and professionally, and at the end of the month you will have made progress.
Again, how do I get through a book like this? I’m getting books all the time. How do I get through a book like this? One chapter a day is how I approach it. I don’t look at the whole book and think oh my gosh, I have another book to read. I have one chapter to read today and, if and when I can’t make time for five minutes to read one chapter, something is wrong with my whole life people. But as a professional, I pride myself in continuous improvement and I’m sure that you do too.
Be thinking in terms of three things. Put you first in your calendar, non-negotiable, and make it three things for the month. Then what you want to do is focus on what you want. The approach that I’ve taken in my business and in my personal life, when it comes to three things, I focus on what I want to keep doing – what’s working for me, what I need to stop doing – what’s not working for me and my business, and what I want to start doing. It might be something different and, for sure, it’s going to be something different.
Focus on that. Take a look at your life. How are you feeling? Start personally. Identify three things, personally, that will cause you and help you to get a grip on being over-committed, and for many of you, you need to learn to start to say no and, therefore, saying yes to yourself.
Take care of your health. What are three things for your health? It might be menu planning, exercise, and sleep. I know many of you are very sleep-deprived. So develop some success habits around that.
Professionally, learn to say no to all of the invitations. Learn to say no to all of the emails. Learn to say no to all of the subscriptions, the ezines, the seminars, the webinars. Oh my gosh, it’s a tsunami, but you’re in control, and that’s what most of you have forgotten, that you are absolutely in control of your life. You are responsible for your happiness, for your health, for your wealth. You need to take back the reins. You need to take charge again and make this work for you.
I don’t know about you, but I really don’t like being around entrepreneurs and small business owners who are feeling mean, tired and ugly because, without sleep, without proper nutrition, and being in the state of overwhelm and over-commitment, that’s what you’re projecting. Not a pretty sight, so take charge, take responsibility, one thing at a time, maximum three things, and let me know how you’re doing with that.
Thanks for being here. I don’t want to keep you. Go off and do something for yourself. Bye everyone.